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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Little Doggie Bites Off Sleeping Woman's Big Toe - The darn woman should not have left her toes dangling off the edge of the bed. She`s lucky her little dog was satisfied with munching on only one toe.

Does Rush Limbaugh Deserve a $400 Million New Contract? - I have a fine-tuned sense of the absurd, and I don`t expect fairness or meaning from life. That`s why I didn`t have a nervous breakdown when I heard that blowhard Rush Limbaugh has a new $400 million contract.

The Murder of Brooke Bennett: We Must Get Serious About Protecting Our Children - This is a catastrophe that can strike any home, wealth and even love can`t prevent our children from being snatched in the twinkling of an eye.

Sell your soul to the Devil. No? How about ebay? - Walter Scott, 24, put his soul up for sale on New Zealand Internet auction site, TradeMe, and has received more than 100 expressions of interest.

Mr. Bush, Americans Aren't So Afraid Of Terrorism Any Longer - "As Sens. John McCain and Barack Obama battle over who has the best approach to national security, a new CNN poll finds Americans` concerns

What Pop Hits Do You Want Played At Your Funeral? - Hymns are being replaced at funerals in one Australian city by popular rock classics like Led Zeppelin`s `Stairway to Heaven` and AC/DC`s

Sex For Gas Exchange - With the price of gas so high consumers are going to extreme lengths to obtain the black gold: Siphoning gas from parking lots and speeding away from gas

What is art? - If some fool running inside an art museum is a work of art, then if I trip him it should not be interpreted as a crime but as my unique type of art criticism.

Denmark, Not America, Is The Happiest Nation In The World - Despite the anxieties of these times, happiness has been on the rise around the world in recent years, a new survey finds.

Did John McCain's Years As POW Render Him Psychologically Unfit - I have great respect for our young men and women who are serving their country in the military; we must treat them with respect and ensure they are well

To Win, Republicans Must Not Run As Republicans - The Republican brand name has all the cachet of a K-Mart house brand, I`m predicting a landslide win for Obama.

High School Student Gets Credit For Two Word Essay - The expletive was used in 2006 by a student in response to the question: "Describe the room you are sitting in."

Is Google God? - Google wasn`t content to be the biggest and baddest search engine in the world, it`s on a mission from God to take over the world.

93 Days In Jail For Wearing Baggy, Saggy Pants - Flint police chief David Dicks released a memo that Flint will be the latest city to campaign against pants that slip below waistlines.

The Pope Should Sell His Red Designer Loafers on eBay - I can`t imagine Jesus Christ delivering the Sermon on the Mount sporting a wizard`s hat, twirling an umbrella and wearing red sandals.

Did Al Sharpton Out Anderson Cooper? - Al Sharpton has a legacy of racism, homophobia, bigotry, financial impropriety, inciting racial violence, and of course there`s the Tawana Brawley incident.

What Music Does Barack Obama Listen To? - When I am at a friend`s house I always like to check out the contents of his medicine cabinet, and his CD collection. Nothing reveals more about a person than his musical tastes.

American Airlines Does The Right Thing: Kicks Mom And Autistic Toddler To The Curb - "There were no weapons on board or concerns about terrorism, but an American Eagle flight about to take off from Raleigh-Durham, N.C., airport was turned back to its gate on Monday

Australian Teen Arrested For Wearing T-shirt Attacking Jesus Christ - In America we take freedom of speech for granted, we know that even blatantly offensive speech is protected by our Constitution.

Bill Clinton Photographed Holding Hands With Young Hottie - If John McCain was photographed holding a woman`s hand, we would assume the lady was helping the elderly senator steady himself. If Barack Obama was


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