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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Donald Trump Jr. Wants to Give Up Secret Service Protection! Why Can't His Idiot Dad Do the Same? - Im not saying I want Trump to be assassinated, but the prospect of Trump traveling sans Secret Service protection fills my heart with joy and hope for the future of our great democracy.

Donald Trump, Twitter and the End of the World - Outrage is the coin of the realm on social media, especially Twitter. Trump has a volcanic nature and his default mode is outrage, therefore Twitter is the perfect platform for him to publish his insane proclamations.

Donald Trump Re-tweets Golf Ball Hit on Hillary Clinton - On the eve of a critical week of foreign policy challenges, Donald Trump started his Sunday by retweeting an edited video of him hitting a golf ball into Hillary Clintons back -- and her falling over from the impact.

Mother! the Worst Film in the History of Cinema! - This is perhaps the most consequential essay I have ever written, if you value your sanity and spirituality I beseech you, for God's sake don't watch this abomination.

11-Year-Old Who Cut White House Lawn is a Stooge Who's Trying to Humanize a Monster - President Donald Trump has taken up an offer from an 11-year-old in Virginia to help cut the White House grass.

Candice Bergen's Disastrous Date With Donald Trump - Candice Bergen recalled the dud of a date she went on with future President Donald Trump back in college, and admitted his dedication to color coordination just didn't do it for her.

Video of Chainsaw-Wielding Nun, Sister Margaret Ann, Becomes Symbol of Irma Recovery - An image of a butt-naked Kim Kardashian failed to break the Internet, but the video of Sister Margaret Ann serving God and her community by clearing trees has gone viral.

Ted Cruz Loves Porn, I Mean Homeboy Really Loves His Porn - Sen. Ted Cruz woke up Tuesday to find his name trending on Twitter - linked overnight to a certain video from the Milf Hunter series, perhaps unfairly, perhaps irrevocably.

Donald Trump Jr. Owns Michael Moore! He Cuts the Fat Loudmouth Down to Size! - But credit must be given where credit is due. Junior absolutely eviscerated that fat piece of crap with his reply.

Miss Texas Margana Wood Condemned White Supremacy Better Than Donald Trump Ever Has - We should impeach the 71-year-old buffoon Donald Trump and replace him with the 22-year-old beauty Margana Wood.

Should You Let Your Dog Lick You? - Dogs lick us because they love us, but should we love their kisses?

Donald Trump's Creepy Relationship With Ivanka - Donald Trump was branded nauseating and creepy after he referred to his daughter Ivanka as honey during a speech in North Dakota.

Hodge the Famous Bookstore Cat - Within a generation bookstores, especially independent bookstores, will be as difficult to find as a Blockbuster video store. Digital media is rendering bookstores, and even libraries, obsolete.

Tyler Perry and Joel Osteen Deserve to Spend Eternity Together in Hell - Atlanta film and television mogul Tyler Perry is the focus of a new Care2 petition is asking him not follow through with a plan to donate $250,000 to Houston megachurch pastor Joel Osteen to help with hurricane relief efforts.

Vladimir Putin: Donald Trump is Not My Bride - Donald Trump's bromance with Vladimir Putin has lasted twice as long as the average Kardashian relationship, and if those two lovebirds ever consummate their romance, and if a video of their unholy tryst emerges it would break, nay shatter the Internet.

Donald Trump's Dreadful DACA Decision - Trumps racist, cowardly and evil action has been roundly condemned from all quarters.

How Do We Cope With the Obscenity Known as Donald Trump? - Donald Trump is an abomination.

Let's Pray Joel Osteen Won't Survive Hurricane Harvey Scandal - Joel Osteen was back behind the podium on Sunday after belatedly opening his megachurch to the survivors of the Hurricane Harvey flooding.

September is 'Happy Cat Month' - So how can we make our feline friends happy?

Perfect Gift for Cat Lady in Your Life: Anatomically Correct Plush Cat Purse - These purses look just like a cat, they even have balls, and believe me that's as close to balls as the typical cat lady will ever be.

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