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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Music World Stunned! Ed Sheeran's 'Shape of You' Wins Grammy for Pop Solo Performance - In the most disappointing result in the 60 years of the Grammys, Ed Sheerans Shape of You won the 2018 Grammy Award for pop solo performance.

Hillary Clinton Gives a Shout-out to 'Activist Bitches'! - The former presidential candidate and secretary of state sent out a video message directed to activist bitches supporting bitches, as she put it, via Twitter Friday night

The Ten Commandments Rewritten for Donald Trump - Thou shalt not covet thou neighbors wife, but thou will be forgiven if thou grabs her by the pussy.

Tiny Pooch Sitting on Driver's Lap Howls His Fool Head Off to the Music - This video uploaded by Weekly Standard reporter Haley Byrd makes up for all the conservative propaganda published by the aforementioned magazine.

Taco Bell Employee Assaults Manager With Burrito! - A Taco Bell employee is facing arrest after allegedly throwing a hot burrito at his manager because he was upset over having to work the morning shift, South Carolina police report.

Who's the Most Dysfunctional Couple: Bill and Hillary Clinton or Donald and Melania Trump? - Melania Trump won't be attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, and some are speculating that her cancellation is a subliminal message to her husband, Donald Trump.

Outrage: Suzanne Somers Praises Donald Trump to High Heaven - Suzanne Somers is saying it loud and proud ... she's a huge fan of President Trump, and she also believes shes committing career suicide by saying that.

Porn Star Stormy Daniels Claims Donald Trump is Terrified of Sharks - TOUGH-talking Donald Trump is absolutely terrified of sharks and hopes they all die, according to a porn star he is said to have bedded.

Franklin Graham Dismisses Donald Trump's Alleged Affair With Porn Star Stormy Daniels - I would argue that Trump could rape a 13-year-old girl in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any support from evangelicals. Evangelicals would claim that the little harlot tempted him, and that he repented anyway immediately after closing his zipper.

Moundville Country Bumpkins Epic Fight Over Cheesecake - When a hillbilly is brandishing a butcher knife that he used to cut a piece of cheesecake into two portions, common sense dictates that you don't complain that your portion is smaller.

Cat-In-The-Bag Carrier is the Cat's Pajamas! Video! - What's cooler than a cat in a hat? A cat in a bag! Get with the damn program for your kitty, you will both love it!

Donald Trump is a Clown With Tiny Hands Instead of Giant Feet - I may be tilting at windmills but I will never accept Trump as my president, and I will continue to write essays exposing his buffoonery until Congress does the right thing and impeaches the clown.

Donald Trump Had Porn Star Stormy Daniels Spank Him With a Forbes Magazine - To have a porn star spank you may be every guys fantasy, but to have the hoe spank you with a magazine that features your family on the cover is wrong, horribly wrong.

British Supermarket Chain B&M Seeks 'Chicken Nugget Connoisseur' - B&M, one of Britains largest variety store chains, announced on its website that it is seeking a chicken nugget connoisseur to taste-taste the chicken nuggets for its new line of store-brand frozen and fresh foods.

Happy Birthday Betty White! America Loves You! - Betty has the sweet face of a grandma who welcomes family and strangers to her home with a cookie and warm glass of milk, but who tells naughty jokes with a twinkle in her eye.

Rev. Maurice Watson Denounces Trump's Racist Comments with Red-faced Mike Pence in Pews - White evangelical churches have a long history of not just tolerating racism, but practicing racism, and a racist charlatan like Trump is as welcome as a snake oil televangelist.

Donald Trump and Melania Trump Are an Affront to the Memory of Martin Luther King Jr. - If Melania really wanted to honor the memory of MLK she would poison her hubbys covfefe.

Donald Trump Must be Removed From Office by Any Means Necessary - After a year of living under the Trump regime I am simply exhausted, Trump is like a category five hurricane that never runs of of steam because it's powered by Satan's infernal farts.

Study: Dog Owners Would Rather Be With Pets Than Friends - More than half of American dog owners admit they flake out on social events to hang out with their pet, according to new research.

Merriam-Webster Rebukes Shithole President Donald Trump - There are a dozen reasons why Trump should be impeached, not the least of which is his bigotry and racism.

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