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Will Says...


Robert Paul Reyes

Satanists Complain That Ted Cruz is Being Compared to Lucifer - Satanists, Christians, adherents of other faiths and atheists all agree that Ted Cruz is a miserable son of a bitch.

Morbidly Obese Cat Addicted to Doritos - A morbidly obese cat owned by the daughter of a Coronation Street legend has been put on a strict diet after it became overweight by snacking on DORITOS.

New York Pizzeria Creates Box Made Entirely of Pizza - A New York City pizza joint has taken a giant step forward on behalf of pizza-lovers everywhere, creating a box made entirely of pizza.

All-female Ghostbusters Reboot is an Abomination! Video! - Not only am I not going to see the Ghostbusters reboot, but I'm going to picket the execrable flick. No amount of brainwashing will convince me that Melissa McCarthy or Leslie Jones are attractive, movie-going should be escapist entertainment not torture.

Now Your Pet Can Poop at the JFK Airport Pet Potty - The airport last week opened a pet potty complete with fake grass and a red fire hydrant in Terminal 4. And the single-stall bathroom, which is decorated with paw prints and lined with Epoxy and waterproof turf, is already making jet-setting pet owners purr.

External Wall Peels From Side of Chinese High-rise - Huge chunks of a Chinese high-rise's external wall peeled off the side of the building and plummeted 15 stories to the ground below.

Pooch Helps Bird Enjoy Trampoline: Video - A Maryland dog owner captured footage of the helpful pooch pushing on the bottom of a trampoline to help a bird learn to bounce.

Catterbox the Collar that Translates Meows into Human Speech: Video - Since the dawn of time, humans have been confounded by cats, those mystifyingly aloof creatures whose inner thoughts are famously inscrutable. But no longer! Temptations Cat Treats has invented a cat collar that lets your feline speak in a human voice "so you can finally understand (though probably not) exactly what she is trying to tell you.

Swimming With Friendly Sharks: Video - A diver off the coast of Florida captured video of his encounter with a group of large silky sharks that allowed him to get close and even stroke their backs.

Meet PuiPui the Fashionista Bunny - A bunny in Japan has gained an online following for modeling a series of stylish outfits handmade by its owner.

John Boehner: Ted Cruz is 'Lucifer in the Flesh' and a 'Miserable Son of a Bitch' Amen and Amen! - Cruz is a miserable son of a bitch, and he needs to wake up and smell the coffee, when he dies he may serve as Satan`s right hand man, but he has zero chance in hell of being President of the United States.

Baby Skunk Escapes Animal Tracker: Video - A clever baby skunk impressed a group of animal trappers with its ability to evade capture.

British Mailman Terrified of Cat - Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night is going to stop an American mailman from the swift completion of his appointed rounds, but this British postal worker is so wimpy that he's terrified of a pussy cat with a penchant for snatching the mail when he pushes it through the slot.

Caitlyn Jenner Uses the Women's Bathroom at Trump International Hotel: Video - Caitlyn Jenner has followed up on Donald Trump's overture of hospitality that he would have no qualms with her using any bathroom at Trump Tower.

Monkey Steals Tourist's Cellphone - A tourist filming herself feeding monkeys in China learned a costly lesson when one of the primates grabbed the smartphone from her hand and ran off with it.

Raccoon Bites Man: Video - This video vividly illustrates what happens when you approach a pack of raccoons and invite one to eat a morsel of food from the tip of your finger.

Ted Cruz Calls a Basketball Hoop a 'Ring', What a Tool! - To call a basketball hoop a "ring", is unforgivable anywhere, but especially in Indiana. I`m not surprised at Cruz`s gaffe, he`s totally ignorant of pop culture and sports. Cruz may be an expert on the Constitution, a whiz at stealing delegates, a Bible Scholar, and he may know all the pick-up lines that will work with Republican babes, but he doesn`t know Jack about real life.

Chicken Eats Lizard: Video - A Slovenian chicken owner was shocked to discover one of the birds feasting on an unusual snack -- a snake-like glass lizard.

Woman Caught Walking Her Dog While Driving - A very upset Stockton woman claims she confronted a dog owner who was walking her dog while driving a car.

Hillary Clinton vs Donald Trump: Medusa vs Daddy Warbucks - It will be Daddy Warbucks vs the Wicked Witch of the West, and I will have to give the edge to Trump because he doesn't recognize any boundaries.


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