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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Cat's Death Stare Ends Puppy's Barking: Video - Hail the new King of the Internet: Greyscale!

Janet Jackson Missy Elliot Collaboration BURNITUP! a Wretched Mess: Listen! - Jackson`s style of dance pop and Elliot`s brand of rap are outdated and unlistenable. What the hell are these ladies doing releasing new music?

Should a Professional Stone Skipper Be Stoned to Death? Video! - For a grown man to devote his time to setting records for stone skipping is ludicrous and a sure sign that the End of the World is nigh!

Tractor-pulled Dog Train Big Hit in Fort Worth: Video - Eugene is proof that life doesn`t end at retirement; this kindly old gentleman has devoted his golden years to adopting shelter dogs, and entertaining his neighbors.

Pizzeria's Pontiff Picture Pie Praises Pope: Piety or Profits? - At Bleeker Street Pizza, chefs are now transforming pies into portraits of his holiness.

Puppy Gives Himself a Bath, Towels Off & Takes a Nap: Video - Brady, a 4 month old Golden Retriever, takes daily showers and baths entirely on his own. He climbs into the shower on his own, plays in the water, gets out, dries himself with a towel, and then takes a nap.

Adele's New Album Will Be Released November 2015! Can Adele Save Music Industry? - It has been more than four years since Adele released a new album, but it appears that the wait for a follow-up is finally over, with a new record set to come out in November.

Kayak Fisherman Fights Off Aggresive Hammerhead Shark!! Video! - Mark McCracken posted a video of his epic struggle with an aggressive hammerhead shark that repeatedly attacked his kayak.

Diddy Named Highest-paid Hip-Hop Artist of 2015 - Screw Diddy or Puff Daddy or whatever name he goes by today, I don`t wear his clothes, I don`t drink his water, I don`t buy his vodka, and I sure as hell don`t buy his albums.

Aaron Rodgers Mocks Russell Wilson: 'God Was a Packers Fan Tonight' - Athletes with give God credit for a victory are trivializing religion, and besmirching themselves. Players like the infamous Tim Tebow who take it a step further and make an ostentatious display of religiosity when they make a great play are an abomination to their faith, and a disgrace to their sport.

Viral Video: Clueless Toddler Can't Blow Out Candle - Dad had an epiphany and an inspiration: He realized that his clueless son would never blow out the candle on his son, so he gave him a straw, and instructed him to blow through the straw.

Viral Video: Bear Cub Struggles With Hammock - I tried once to sleep on a hammock, and I ended up face-down in the dirt. This adorable bear cub perfectly illustrates why it`s folly to try to sleep on a hammock.

I Don't Stand With Ahmed Mohamed! Fraud Deserves to be Clocked! - Faux Internet outrage is a horrible thing, but the exultation of a nerdy kid and his fake invention is even worse. Let`s get real Ahmed doesn`t deserve a Nobel Prize and he doesn`t deserve to be lauded as a civil rights hero, he`s just a geeky kid who deserved to be clocked for his deceitful and ingratiating manner.

Harley the Chihuahua Named 2015 American Hero Dog - Harley the dog is almost impossibly small. He`s missing an eye, his legs are deformed and his tongue sticks out of his mouth because most of his teeth had to be removed. But Harley is more than a survivor, he`s a hero.

Two Cats and a Snail! Must See Video! This Will Blow Your Mind! - But just when I thought I had seen everything, I stumbled on this video of two cats and a snail involved in a ménage à trois. Now I have officially seen everything, at least pertaining to felines.

Dimwit Burglars Grab Dummy Phones From Verizon Store: Video - A Verizon store was the victim of a break-in overnight, but the thieves didn`t get away with what they thought they did.

General Mills Giving Away Selfie Spoons For Free! The End is Near! Video! - Parents for God`s sake don`t let evil take up residence in your home, if your son or daughter uses a selfie spoon while eating breakfast, beat the devil out of them with a baseball bat.

Kali the Cat Using a Toilet Just Like a Person: Video - Elena Cano's cat mastered potty training faster than a lot of people's kids.

Priest's Lego Vatican on Display at Philadelphia Museum: Video - Thank goodness at least one priest has dedicated himself to playing with children`s toys instead of raping young boys.

Woman With 3,714 Knives in Her Mobile Home Arrested - A convicted felon, 3,714 knives in a trailer, and throw in a pentagram and fake body parts, and you know that the dateline for this story is Florida.

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