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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Internet Horrified by Pic of Texas Readhead Centipede: Video - There are some disturbing and frightening images on the Internet: Naked pics of Oprah Winfrey, alien autopsy photos, but there`s nothing more horrifying than this pic of the Texas Redhead Centipede.

SoBe Apologizes For Bottle Cap Joke Gone Wrong - Beverage brand SoBe is apologizing for a joke message under its bottle caps that has caused some alarm among drinkers.

Teacher Kills & Dissects Rabbits in Front of Class - For his horrific act the teacher was simply warned not to do it again. He should have been summarily fired, charged with animal cruelty, and shunned by polite society.

Obama's Daughter Malia Obama Serving as Intern With 'Girls'! Sick Lena Dunham Is No Role Model! - The last six years have demonstrated, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the Barack Obama is the worst president since Jimmy Carter. Now it seems that he`s also the worst father since Homer Simpson.

New York Times Columnist Melissa Clark's Green Pea Guacamole Recipe an Abomination! - Melissa has been a food columnist for the New York Time`s Dining section since 2007. She reports on food trends, and I will forever be grateful to her for introducing the world to the deep-fried Twinkie, but she deserves to be beaten like a piñata for suggesting that peas should be added to guacamole.

Abomination: New Bubble Wrap Will No Longer Pop When You Squeeze It - Bubble Wrap that doesn`t pop is like a vibrator that doesn`t vibrate or a gun that doesn`t shoot; damn the Bubble Wrap company straight to hell for depriving us of one of the simple pleasures of life.

Hispanic Leaders Demand Republicans Condemn Donald Trump - If the GOP has any chances of capturing a significant percentage of the Hispanic vote in the 2016 presidential elections, its incumbent on party elders, especially the presidential candidates, to condemn Donald Trump`s racist comments unequivocally and without reservations.

Woman, 70, Finishes 100-mile Race With 6 Seconds to Spare: Video - A 70-year-old woman made a last-minute finish in the 100-mile Western States Endurance Run by crossing the line six seconds before the cut-off time.

Viral Video: Motorist Accidentally Jumped Drawbridge - You`ve seen video of drivers attempting to beat trains, now there`s a video of a driver trying to beat a drawbridge.

TV Land Cancels 'The Dukes of Hazzard'! Boycott TV Land! - I applaud all the politicians, pundits, and activists who are campaigning for the Confederate flag to be removed from government buildings, and retailers like Walmart and Target who have stopped selling Confederate merchandise, but TV Land`s decision to cancel The Dukes of Hazard stinks of cowardice and political-correctness run amok.

Pope Benedict Portrait Made From Condoms: Video - The critics of Johnson`s portrait of Pope Benedict should be grateful that she used condoms instead of feces to create her masterpiece.

Alex Trebek Raps 'Fresh Prince' Theme Song on 'Jeopardy' - Alex Trebek was born in Canada, and he must be pushing 90, which means that he`s incapable of achieving coolness. But on Monday`s night episode of Jeopardy he was pretty fly for a Canadian white guy.

Hillary Clinton Email Dump Reveals Tech-Challenged Diva Estranged From Hubby - The emails don`t expose that Hillary was sexting Suze Orman, or that she gets all her pantsuits for free from LesbianFashion.Com, but they paint an unflattering picture of the tired old lady who wants to be the next President of the United States.

Viral Video: Hapless Farmer Chases His Runaway Cows - A Scottish man said he couldn't have asked for a better commute after capturing footage of runaway cows being chased by a police van and a farmer on foot.

Viral Video: Dude Tries to Cut Watermelon With Sword - A British Columbia man who decided to use this sword to cut through a watermelon managed to shatter a glass table and leave the melon intact.

Chris Christie Running for President! GOP Clown Car Has Reached Overcapacity! - Sarah Palin please hop on the bandwagon, there`s room for you, and there`s even room for Bristol Palin`s bastard children in the trunk.

And The World's Ugliest Dog is Quasi Modo: Video - We have a winner! Quasi Modo, a hunchbacked mixed breed, has earned the title of World`s Ugliest Dog after winning a pet competition in California on June 26.

Kanye West Gets Kanye'd in Presence of Kim Kardashian by Brit Comic! Bravo! - Hey Kanye how does it feel getting Kanye`d in the presence of thousands of rock fans, and not to mention your skank wife?

Hillary Clinton Deserves Less Press, and Bernie Sanders Deserves More! - Sen. Sanders is the real deal: An avowed socialist with a real set of policy programs to help the poor and disadvantaged, as opposed to Hillary who is an elite one-percenter masquerading as a populist.

Moron Sticks Nerf Darts to his Eyes in Viral Video - There`s a wanker born every minute, and eventually he will post a video on YouTube depicting him doing something ridiculous and possibly dangerous.

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