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Contributor

Robert Paul Reyes

Longing for a White Christmas in Virginia - Christmas Eve in Central Virginia: The first winter snowstorm nowhere in the horizon, temps in the 70`s, T-shirt and sandals kind of day "

Sean Hayes & Husband Scott Icenogle Campy Christmas Video - The video sees the 45-year-old actor indulge in holiday desserts before giving a sugar-fueled performance to Jingle Bells while dressed as an elf. Hayes` husband, Scott Icenogle, also makes an appearance.

Brit Runs Around Tokyo Dressed As Christmas Tree: Video - A British man based in Tokyo is spreading Christmas cheer in a very unique way.

Outrage: Principal Bans Hello Kitty Christmas Tree - A Christmas tree is an ancient pagan phallic symbol turned into a modern secular totem of the holiday season. I know atheists, Jews and Buddhists who celebrate the holidays by setting up a Christmas tree in their living rooms.

Pothead Named Head Calls 911 for Rolling Papers - The Waynesboro Police Department said Kyle Dustin Head, 24, of Waynesboro, is believed to have been under the influence of marijuana early Thursday when he called 911 and asked a dispatcher to bring him rolling papers.

Outrage: Santa Robs KFC - Santa Claus is known for entering through chimneys, but British police said a not-so-jolly St. Nick climbed in a KFC drive-through window and demanded cash.

Elderly Lady Calls Police: She Heard Woman Praise ISIS in Midst of Sex - The busybody old lady needs a new battery for her hearing aid; the woman probably yelled Isaiah is good; Isaiah is great, referring to her boyfriend who finally managed to make her reach orgasm.

Is There a Solution for Dog Breath? - I love my pooch, Mandy, and I don`t mind her demonstrating how much she loves me, but sometimes her dog breath almost knocks me out.

Met Buttercup the Adorable Moggy! Grumpier-looking Than Grumpy Cat - This grumpy kitty looks like he is already fed up with Christmas just like `The Grinch`

Catastrophe! Cat on a Plane! Video! - Never mind snakes on a plane; one cat on a plane is a catastrophe!

Top 8 Reasons Hillary Clinton Was Late Returning To Debate Stage After Commercial Break - She needed oxygen backstage, that old fart Bernie Sanders wouldn't stop farting.

Officer Rescues Beaver on Busy Highway - You may think I should have more important things to write about, but I like to spotlight individuals who are caring and loving to animals.

Little Girl Mistakes Walmart Shopper for Santa: Video - A West Virginia shopper helped make a young girl`s day after being mistaken for Santa Claus.

Watch World's Youngest Barista Make Cappuccino! - Bindle Coffee`s littlest barista is a mere 3 years old but can make a cappuccino under the watchful eye and caring hand of his father.

Christmas Miracle: ATM Dispenses Double Cash Requested - Who in his right mind would feel guilty about accepting free money from an ATM owned and operated by a bloodsucking bank?

Sweet Old Lady Locked in Public Restroom for Four Days Knits Scarf - Plucky pensioner Gladys Phillips didn`t panic when she was locked in a public toilet for four days -- she settled down to knit a scarf and munched on a packet of mint imperials.

Watch Little Girl Dance to Silento's Nae Nae - I can forgive an elementary school girl for dancing to Nae Nae, but God damn anyone else who shakes his butt to the cheesiest song ever recorded.

Kitten Saved From Trash Compactor: Video - A kitten that was thrown into the garbage ended up at a waste management center in Galt. There, an employee noticed the kitten on the conveyor belt and saved her before she went into the compactor.

Raccoon From Hell Terrorizes Family - Raccoons are Satan`s pets; they are the most ornery creatures on the face of the Earth. I`d rather deal with a dozen masked burglars, than face off against one raccoon.

Christmas Abomination: Living Elf on the Shelf - An elf on a shelf toy is disturbing, but a living elf on a shelf is an abomination. If I witnessed a man dressed as an elf on a shelf, I would tar and feather him, beat him to a bloody pulp, and leave him on the road as a Christmas present to the neighborhood vultures.

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