September 30th, 2010 08:40 EST
Top Ten Ways To Teach Bishop Eddie Long A Lesson
*Rip Long`s ridiculous toupee from his bald pate.
*Make him trade in his Bentley for a Ford Pinto
*Give Mr. T. permission to go Medieval on Eddie Long.
*Replace his pimp wardrobe with a couple of shirts from K-Mart, and a few pair of pants from a thrift shop.
*Make him move out of his mansion and into a trailer park.
*Install software in Long`s computer that will block him from accessing sites like TackyToupeesRUs.Com and HardOutThereForAGayPimp.com
*Tell Mel Gibson that Long has been sending pics of himself to his sons. By the time Mad Mel is finished with Eddie Long all that will be left of him will be his purple thongs.
*Slip a drug into Richard Simmons` protein drink that will give him a mad crush on Eddie Long.
*New rule: Eddie Long can only work out in his gym if he wears a pair of Richard Simmons` short shorts. The pervert will be chased out of the gym by customers brandishing dumbbells.
*Fire him from his church, and install a gay-friendly minister as the new pastor.
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes