October 3rd, 2010 09:30 EST
Eddie Long's Top Ten Excuses Why He Turned Into A Perv Who Molests Boys
*I must have flipped my wig.
*The devil made me do it.
*I was normal until I started switching between Sesame Street and an infomercial of Richard Simmons Sweating to the Oldies, now I`m a pervert.
*I have the disease of sexual addiction; I`m a victim not a criminal.
*I`m a televangelist with a penchant for dressing like a pimp, what do you expect?
*My toupee whispered into my ear that if I didn`t molest young boys that it would fly off my bald pate while preaching to my congregation.
* Molesting young boys was the next to last item left on my bucket list, the only thing left is to do is a news conference while wearing only purple slippers and a pink Lady Gaga type wig.
*I have a split personality, wait that`s not going to work. Both of my personalities are sick and twisted.
*I didn`t do it, it was my dang toupee. That Jheri curl demonic being has a mind of its own.
*I`m a televangelist; I can get away with anything.
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