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Published:October 5th, 2010 10:03 EST

Movie Musings and Picks

By Inactive Writer

Everyone`s a critic - I`m just better at it.

Without any further ado, here are my top five movie picks for this week, in no particular order:

5. The Social Network

I had zero expectations for this movie. I mean, really - a movie about Facebook? How much more degraded can this culture become? I was pleasantly surprised. While most of the exciting stuff was filler to make the movie interesting, they did a damn good job with it. Oh, they also portrayed the real tensions appropriately. From the humble beginnings of hacking Harvard`s system to rank the beauty of girls to the billion-dollar meteoric rise, Mark Zuckerberg`s project makes for a good movie, I dare say. I even have to admit that Justin Timberlake did a hell of a job portraying the shyster Sean Parker - I was just as shocked as you are.

For a movie about something as seemingly insipid as coding webpages, it sure did impress me.

Grade: A-

4. Douchebag

If I had a dollar for everytime I`ve used this amazing word, I wouldn`t have to sit here writing this. I don`t get paid for this, anyway... Damn.

Anyway, this is a nice independent film about two brothers getting together for the first time in two years, only the other unattractive brother has his fiancee in tow. The engaged bro suggests that the other find his old fifth grade girlfriend, and it turns into a road movie. Along the way, SOMEHOW the balding and unattractive brother becomes a promiscuous, well, douchebag.

I looked up release dates for this film, and it`s been released in one theater in New York. Think the name has something to do with that?

Grade: B

3. Case 39

This movie gave me a case of the runs - I ran to the box office and demanded my money back, then I ran to the bathroom and drained what was left of my soul. Just look up the plot summary, that should be enough of a deterrent.

Grade: F

2. Chain Letter

I KNEW some movie exec would try to capitalize on the idiocy of chain letters.

Trouble is, he failed.

Grade: F

1. Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga`Hoole


Enough said.

Grade: A+

Disagree with something you see here? Email me at so I can tell you how wrong you probably are.

Until next time!

Note: The author of this article is no longer affiliated with theSOP.