October 18th, 2010 13:51 EST
How To Look Like Madonna For Halloween! Not For Weak Of Heart!
The other day I stumbled upon a current unretouched photograph of Madonna, and it scared the hell out of me. I had to take a shower, and have a pedicure and a manicure before I felt clean again.
We learn lessons from traumatic experiences, and indeed I thought to myself: Why not dress as Madonna for Halloween?
Want to scare the kids to death? Here`s what you can do to look just like Madge:
On Halloween day take a five hour nap in the bathtub, keeping your hands under the water. Your hands will be transformed into Madonna-like veiny witch`s claws.
Tear out one of your front teeth with pliers, and you will have a fashionable gap in your teeth just like the Material Girl.
If you are really serious about imitating the Madonna look, work out in the gym for eight hours every day until Halloween. Once you start resembling an anorexic weightlifter, congratulations, you`ve got the Madonna look.
Finally, take your 11-year-old nephew with you to the Halloween parties, and everyone will think you`re Madonna with one of her toyboys.
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