October 18th, 2010 14:57 EST
Wanna Look Like Lindsay Lohan For Halloween? Here's What You Have To Do!
*Pump enough collagen into your lips until you look like an angry trout.
*Ditch your panties.
*Hook-up with a lesbian who looks like an angry 16-year-old boy.
*Paste hundreds of brown-colored glitter all over your body so you will look like the freckled-faced starlet.
*Put a SCRAM bracelet on your ankle.
*Go on a crash diet until you look like one of the Olsen twins on crack.
*Take drugs and drink alcohol until you are an incoherent idiot.
*Rent a serial killer couple and pretend they are your parents.
*Glue stupid-looking hair extensions on your noggin.
*Swear like a sailor!
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes