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Published:October 22nd, 2010 13:40 EST
eddie long

Top Ten Ways Bishop Eddie Long Can Atone For His Sins

By Robert Paul Reyes

*Commit hari-kari

*Sell his infamous Jheri Curl wig on eBay, and donate the proceeds to victims of child molestation.

*Donate his mansion to a gay rights group so it can be used as a community center for teens who are the victims of bullying and homophobia.

eddie long

*Admit that the heretical Prosperity Gospel that he preaches enriches only himself, his family and his inner circle.

*Confess that he`s a homosexual, and apologize to gays and lesbians for his hypocrisy and homophobic remarks.

*Give a sermon in which he declares that he`s a pedophile, and explain to his congregation that pedophilia has no connection to homosexuality.

*Tell his church that he`s a scam artist and that they are complicit in all his sins, because only an idiot would miss all the signs that he`s a false prophet.

*After he`s convicted for child molestation, entertain his fellow convicts by stripping down to his purple thongs and doing the Macarena.

*Burn his muscle shirts and spandex shorts.

*Flush his cell phone down the toilet.

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