December 31st, 2010 12:33 EST
10 Things I Hope We Won't See In 2011: Eddie Long's Wig, Bieber, Sarah Palin...
GAY BISHOP EDDIE LONG`S GREASY WIG
The Jheri curl is a hairstyle that was popular in the African American community in the 1970`s. This abominable hairstyle probably set back race relations a couple of generations. White Americans were hesitant to invite brothers with a Jheri curl to their homes for fear that they would get grease all over their furniture.
Only a demented and perverted person would seek to bring back any fashion style from the 70`s, especially the Jheri curl. Hello gay bishop Eddie Long! Let hope the disgraced minister will make a New Year`s resolution to burn his satanic Jheri curl toupee.
The vuvuzela is a plastic horn that produces a long monotone note, when hundreds or thousands of these infernal horns are played at the same time, it`s enough to drive anyone to commit suicide. Americans first became aware of these horns at the 2010 FIFA World Cup, let`s hope that in 2011 they will be banned from all sporting events.
After the 2008 John McCain/Sarah Palin presidential campaign went down in defeat, we prayed that we had seen the last of the former governor of Alaska. But Palin is everywhere, she has a reality show, a gig on Fox News, and she`s often mentioned as a presidential candidate. Let`s pray that Palin`s 15 minutes of fame will finally run out in 2011.
O`Donnell is a perennial candidate, she was the Republican nominee in Delaware`s 2010 Senate special election, losing to Democrat Chris Coons. After O`Donnell`s latest defeat in which she was exposed as a lunatic, let`s hope she never runs again.
Do I really need to explain why?
Prayer answered, her show finally (thank goodness) ends in 2011, and nobody will watch her cable network.
Nerdy eyewear worn for ironic effect, by hipsters who wouldn`t last a minute in the hood.
Auto-Tune is a wonderful machine used to correct pitch in vocal and instrumental performances, however it is being used to digitally distort vocals so that even a gifted singer like Lady Gaga sounds like Whitney Houston on crack. T-Pain will burn forever in the lake of fire for popularizing the use of Auto-Tune.
I would rather drink water from Rosie O`Donnell`s dirty bath water than listen to one minute of the view. Watching The View will turn even an Alan Alda-type namby-pamby dude into a misogynist.
Gratuitous shot, I know.
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