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Published:January 1st, 2011 09:38 EST

Vandals Destroy Colossal Gingerbread Man

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Police in Haverhill, Mass., said they were searching for the vandal or vandals who stole and broke up a 7-foot-tall plywood Christmas gingerbread man.

Police said the Christmas decoration was one of four created by Whittier Regional Vocational Technical High students and placed in Columbus Park for Haverhill`s annual Christmas Stroll, the Boston Herald reported Friday." UPI

One of the students who painted the gingerbread man said, "I don`t understand why someone would want to break it."

I can readily understand why an individual felt compelled to go Medieval on the humongous gingerbread man. A gingerbread man is supposed to be no more than a few inches tall; a 7-foot-tall mutant gingerbread man is an affront to God, and he`s just begging to be dismantled.

We take particular delight in dismembering a gingerbread man cookie before we eat it - imagine the indescribable joy of destroying a giant gingerbread man!

No civilized community should tolerate a gigantic gingerbread man, the person responsible for its destruction should be awarded a key to they city. And the students who created the monstrosity should be reprimanded for doing the devil`s work.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes