January 5th, 2011 22:32 EST
Will Says...The Filibuster Weapon of Mass Disruption!
Now, if you read my little comments on Monday, Will Says... Lame Duck Season Ain`t Over Yet! about the fact that Republicans are working on changing duck hunting season to LAME DUCK HUNTING, to somewhere around November 4th or election time, whichever comes first. Then, you know I was taking shots at Republicans for stopping progress, or its four letter equal, WORK! They, the Republicans are pointing fingers, `cause raising a hand would be way too much to ask for. Pointing fingers at Democrats for getting too much of this work thing done after elections. Republican`s defense was clear; if the American people wanted you Democrats to get the job done, they would not have taken the keys to the car. But instead, at the November elections they sent most of you Democrats thumbing for a ride to the unemployment office.
Ok, so now it`s the Democrats turn; today is the day we swear in the new birds into their spot in the 112 Senate. It`s the day that gives us a new House Speaker, however, what we know of this Speaker (John Boehner) we don`t think speaking is something he will do so much. More like heart to heart talks and it will no doubt end in one of us getting teary eyed and emotional. Anyhow, Democrats first order, IF they get a chance to speak, is to try to nick the FILIBUSTER; that`s right, the old Mr. Smith goes to Washington tactic. But, if you all know anything about these weapons of mass disruptions... filibusters, then you know that the modern day filibuster is way less energetic than when Jimmy Stewart did it. Maybe it`s because we can afford to shell out the kind of money it takes to get a Senator talk that long. Or, because we can`t get a politician that can spend that much time on the floor if the Senate is working. Plus, the opposite side can stop a bill cold and you will never know who did it. It`s called "Secret Hold" ... But I like to call it... gutless.
See, nowadays all one needs to do is have a party leader even head fake on a possible filibuster and it will send the house spinning out if control like the house in the Wizard of Oz.
Now it`s kinda more Like Congressional Na na, "I don`t Like your bill and I`m going to BUST it right now. Na na na! " So, that`s the work that Democrats want to get accomplished in "the first day of work" today. Boy I never thought I would ever use the words DAY OF WORK when it came to `politicians`.
Democrats want to change the Filibuster rules to get the old fashioned talk till you drop action in place. Mainly`cause they know that most politicians are out of shape and would not be able to flap their jaw that long without falling asleep.
By The Way, I heard a rumor that Republicans were going to spend the time on the first day reading the constitution out loud. I hope they don`t have Mr. Boehner read it; he won`t make it past, "We the people" without shedding a tear.
I say, have a bunch of kids read it out loud. There`s something more meaningful about an innocent face reading that document.
If you want to see what the rules of a filibuster are, look it up on Google like I did with Lame Duck. Funny thing is, you could just swap out lame duck with filibuster and it reads the same way, CONFUSING!
Lots of mumbo jumbo that translates to the same thing; abusing the system for political gain. Each side thinks they are being abused. Of course; it`s only called abuse by the ones who are on the bad end of the stick, the beating end, not the ones who hold the stick.
If you ask this humorist, I say Americans might be in for a long two years. As I see it, BOTH parties are looking like the party of NO...WORK!
My plan: make them talk a filibuster all the way through... Nothing less than four hours. And sell tickets to this event. It will finally turn CSPAN into a money making business. Throw a little lighting and costumes in and you might get Cirque du Soleil to produce it, THEN you Senate folks will know you hit the big time! Only, if they pick it up, please don`t bring it here to Vegas; we have enough out of work comedians, we don`t need more.
Your friend, Will
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