February 6th, 2011 12:16 EST
Disaster: No Cheerleaders At The Super Bowl!
"For the first time in the showcase event`s 45-year history there will be no scantily-clad cheerleaders on the sidelines at a Super Bowl.
The Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers are two of a half dozen National Football League teams that don`t have cheerleaders."
This is an outrage, especially considering the Super Bowl is being played in the stadium of the world famous Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
A Super Bowl without cheerleaders is like a milkshake without a cherry on top, a Ferrari without gas in the tank, a computer without a hard drive, a horny old man without Viagra, a Charlie Sheen party without cocaine and adult movie stars, a Lady Gaga concert without thousands of gays in the audience, a Snoop Dog concert without a cloud of marijuana smoke, an evangelical TV program without any appeals for money, an episode of "Diff`rent Strokes" where Arnold doesn`t wonder what the hell his brother is talking about, an LPGA tournament without hordes of lesbians in the gallery, a Lindsay Lohan party where someone doesn`t end up going to the hospital or to jail, a hockey game without a few fights, a basketball game without trash talk, a "Jeopardy" episode without Alex Trebek sporting a smug look, and a rainbow without a pot of gold at the end.
Super Bowls rarely live up to the hype, that`s why the commercials and the halftime show receive so much attention. For God`s sake, we need cheerleaders on the sidelines to entertain us when the game gets boring.
A Super Bowl without cheerleaders is Un-American, and I will not be watching the extravaganza this year. Let`s send a clear message to the NFL: Bring back the cheerleaders!
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