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Published:February 9th, 2011 14:01 EST
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Adult Store Valentine's Day Offer: Swap Guns For Sex Toys

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A shop in the US state of Alabama on Tuesday launched a Valentine`s Day offer it hopes will trigger a large response in a limp economy: customers can swap their guns for sex toys.

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`In today`s economy, this is a way of helping people who may feel they can`t afford something for Valentine`s Day,` said Sherri Williams, the owner of the `Pleasures` sex toy shop, where assorted erotica during the next week can be obtained in exchange for cast-off firearms.

`This way, they can take something that`s just lying around and swap it for something they can take home and make love, not war with,` she told AFP.

AFP

I predict that the Valentine`s Day sex toys for guns promotion will bomb. Southern men love guns, women, and god -- in that order. No hillbilly worth his salt will trade his beloved phallic symbol for a much smaller phallic substitute that doesn`t shoot bullets.

No dude, not even a hillbilly, can get away with giving his old lady a sex toy for Valentine`s Day. Valentine`s Day is about romance, chocolates and red roses, not sex toys. A man who gives his lover a sex toy for Valentine`s Day will find himself sleeping alone on the living room couch with his sex toy.

The world certainly would be a better place if guns were magically turned into sex toys.

Happy Valentine`s Day to all.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes