February 15th, 2011 18:14 EST
400-Pound Shoplifter Gets Stuck In Doorway: How Embarrassing!
"A 400-pound Michigan woman was caught shoplifting when her motorized cart got stuck in the store`s door, authorities say.
Jerrie Perkins, 30, of Pontiac was attempting to leave a Meijer store in Rochester Hills with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise Tuesday night, the Oakland County Sheriff`s Office told The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens, Mich." UPI
The UPI article states that the rotund woman assumed a "fighting stance" when the cops arrived. It makes you wonder how a gigantic lady assumes a fighting stance. Does she curl herself into a ball so she can crush them to dead by rolling over them?
Perkins had to be Tasered to be subdued; I wonder if the cops set their Taser settings on hippo?
A professional thief takes pride in making a quick getaway; the humongous mass of flesh got stuck in the store`s door -- how embarrassing.
When this enormous felon was stuck in the door, it would have been an excellent time for her to consider other ways of earning a living.
The colossal thief was charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes