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Published:March 15th, 2011 19:28 EST
John Boehner Takes Social Grace Class, Does That Make Him a Socialist?

John Boehner Takes Social Grace Class, Does That Make Him a Socialist?

By Will Roberts

Now, all I know is what I read on the Internet. And today, I read that Speaker of the house John Boehner is, from all outward appearances, trying to make good on his promise to make and hold a good HOUSE hold. Now, mind you, it`s not easy to keep things civil when everyone else is not following the rules of the house.

In an effort to keep good on Boehner`s promise to have an open door policy, Boehner decided to work on manners with a etiquette teacher, to the tune of 5800 dollars (tax payers` loot) for a four day course. ... Mr. Boehner, that is what I call getting off to a bad start.

$5800 for something you can get for free on Google; well, that does not make dollars and CENTs! Search Google and you will find plenty of information on how to hold a spoon, what fork to use first and what country where it`s ok to belch after a meal; contrary to belief and American sitcoms, it`s not the USA.

So, here are a few pearls of wisdom from your old friend, cowboy Will Roberts. If this works out, we are going to have you ask that other instructor for your money back, even though that`s bad manners.

#1. Even though you are Speaker of the House, that does not mean you are Speaker of everyone`s house. Make sure to hold your opinion and your tongue unless you are asked to speak it; especially if it is a Democratic event; i.e. a Presidential affair.

#2. Age before beauty... If you find yourself in a situation where you are around elders, give them the respect they deserve (Harry Reid)

#3. Passing of gas: hot air. Somewhere down the line you learned that passing gas, hot air, was forbidden. Now given that you and fellow Republicans have not passed anything in the last four to six months, we might just lift the ban on this manner, with the provision that the gas or hot air you pass come from your mouth... PASS A BILL PLEASE!

See how easy it is to just use a little common CENTS, `cause that`s all we can afford right now. Also, search Miss Manners if you just can`t mustard up any common cents, on your own, `cause it`s below your income level.

Don`t get me wrong, I guess I would rather have an educated, well mannered politician running our House than an uneducated hick from the backwoods running the White House; now that would Pal-in comparison!

Your friend,


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"All I Know Is What Little I Read On The Internet!"