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Published:March 16th, 2011 11:45 EST

Rebecca Black's Friday: The Most Disturbing Video In History?

By Robert Paul Reyes

rebeccaLife is basically absurd, and truth is as substantial as a snowflake. It`s almost impossible to shock a jaded hipster like me, but today I saw a video that left me speechless.

Rebecca Black who sings "Friday" is only 13-years old, I will try not to be snarky and cruel.

I wasn`t expecting genius from a video that is geared to tweens and morons, but the amateurish quality of this video is mind-boggling.

Rebecca sounds like a robot without a soul or genitalia. When the song hits the bridge, Rebecca sings "fun, fun, fun" with all the enthusiasm of a school girl suffering from constipation and a migraine headache.  I wonder how many tweens will jump of a bridge after watching this video?

This video even has the requisite rap interlude -- talk about incongruous! I have no idea who the homeboy is who sold his soul to the devil by rapping on this video, but suffice to say that he has all the street cred of Regis Philbin.

I`ve watched this video a dozen times, it`s so campy, hilarious, disturbing and addictive!

You go Rebecca, your video has nine million hits. This essay is tongue-in-cheek, you are a cute and talented young girl. When you are older, I`m convinced you will release great records.

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