Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:March 25th, 2011 10:11 EST
toilet paper

Toilet Paper Tax: Brilliant Or Crappy Idea?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Mayor Jim Suttle went to Washington Tuesday flush with ideas for how federal officials could help cities like Omaha pay for multibillion-dollar sewer projects.

Among the items on his brainstorming list: a proposal for a 10-cent federal tax on every roll of toilet paper you buy."

toilet paper

At first blush this seems like an equitable tax - everybody uses toilet paper. But upon further review this is a crappy plan.

A man`s home may be his castle, but his throne is in the bathroom. It`s the only place where a father and husband can find refuge from screaming kids and a nagging wife. The nominal head of the family likes to relax on his throne, reading the sports page, and enjoying the peace and quiet. The knowledge that he`s being taxed for toilet paper will ruin the bathroom as a refuge from an ungrateful family and a cold and cruel world.

The mayor may be flush with success for coming up with such a novel idea, but let`s hope the city council flushes his idea down the toilet.

For God`s sake we are already taxed up the wazoo.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: