Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:April 5th, 2011 12:22 EST

Stoner Steals Krispy Kreme Truck

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Ocala police said they responded to the scene of a reported collision between two vehicles Thursday and one of the drivers, Randall Roberts, 20, of Davenport, told them at the scene he had taken the Gulf Florida Doughnut Distributing truck from a parking lot in Tampa, the Ocala Star-Banner reported Monday.


Roberts told investigators he took the truck, which had been left unlocked with the keys in the ignition, because his feet hurt from walking and he `needed somewhere to sleep.

Police searched the truck and found 338 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and 10 grams of marijuana."


For a stoner to find an unlocked truck with the keys in the ignition with a cargo of 338 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts is like Ponce de Leon finding the Fountain of Youth.

I`m not surprised Roberts crashed, it`s not that easy to drive holding a joint in one hand and a couple of donuts in the other.

If this case goes to court Roberts` attorney can reasonably argue that it`s almost impossible for a pothead to be able to resist not stealing an unlocked truck full of munchies.

Roberts can`t be too disappointed, he now has somewhere to sleep for the next few days.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: