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Published:April 29th, 2011 11:06 EST

Hero In Cow Suit Steals Milk From Wal-Mart

By Robert Paul Reyes

"In the category of You Can`t Make This Stuff Up If You Tried, the 18-year-old crawled into a Stafford, Va., Walmart on all fours, reported

cowAfter standing, he loaded about $92 worth of milk into a shopping cart and simply rolled the cart out of the without paying, police have confirmed to NBC Washington.

He then attempted to give the milk away outside the store, and tried to flee the scene by skipping away, police said."

Jonathan Payton, 18, isn`t a shoplifter; he`s a talented performance artist. The cop should have asked for his autograph, instead of issuing him a summons.

This brilliant artist donned a cow suit and crawled on all fours into a Wal-mart. He then loaded a shopping cart with milk, walked out of the store without paying for it, and gave the milk away outside the store.

Jonathan is a 21st century Robin Hood, he stole from an evil corporation and gave away his spoils to regular folks.

When the cops arrived at the scene Jonathan skipped away like a cow on crack. Jonathan should run for the Republican presidential nomination, he has more showmanship than Donald Trump.

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