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Published:June 22nd, 2011 13:29 EST

Insanity: Florida Marlin's Manager Jack McKeon, 80, Thinks Twitter Is A Dog!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Many baseball fans were bewildered by the decision of the Florida Marlins to hire 80-freaking-year-old Jack McKeon as their new manager. Fans wondered if McKeon could survive a three-hour game without soiling his diapers. Crying isn`t allowed in baseball, and neither are droopy drawers. How can an octogenerian with failing vision contest an umpire`s call when he can`t even see his own feet without the help of binoculars? How can the old goat relate to his young players? Maybe that won`t be a problem because McKeon is on his second childhood. Will the old fool need to take a nap during the 7th inning stretch? How can the old coot compete in the digital age when he doesn`t know Twitter from his Johnson?

One of McKeon`s young players, Logan Morrison, recently posted this message on Twitter:

Jack McKeon asked what I had going on tonite. Told him I was going to play w/Twitter. He replied `oh, what kind of dog is it?

Maybe Morrison was kidding, maybe not, but what isn`t in dispute is that McKeon is simply too old to be a manager.

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