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Published:June 22nd, 2011 20:11 EST
gum

Will Chewing 'Vigo' Gum Make You Look Hot?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Swedish consumer and health organizations are criticizing the makers of a new chewing gum that promises to keep chewers `looking their best.`

The groups said the makers of Vigo gum, which comes in Focus, Active and Beauty varieties that variously purport to promote concentration, stamina and beauty, are misleading consumers with their claims about the gum, Swedish news agency TT reported Wednesday."

gum

UPI

Only bimbos and morons chew gum whenever the spirit moves them. Most of us chew gum only when we are home relaxing or at a sporting event. When I see a good-looking bimbo chewing gum I ask her out; I figure she might be dumb enough to say Yes.

Chewing gum won`t improve your looks, it only serves to make you look like a simpleton. If a job applicant is chewing gum while being interviewed, it`s almost guaranteed he won`t be hired.

Most folks who like to chew gum have a hard time chewing gum and walking at the same time; chewing like cows won`t improve their focus or concentration.

I hate to say this but if this Swedish chewing gum is sold in America it will be a hit if the spokesperson is a hot bimbo like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or Kim Kardashian.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes