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Published:July 9th, 2011 10:27 EST

Outrage! Albertsons Grocery Chain To Eliminate Self-Checkout Lanes

By Robert Paul Reyes

"One of the nation`s major grocery store chains is eliminating self-checkout lanes in an effort to encourage more human contact with its customers.

Albertsons LLC, which operates 217 stores in seven Western and Southern states, will eliminate all self-checkout lanes in the 100 stores that have them and will replace them with standard or express lanes, a spokeswoman said."


Who the hell wants to have more human contact with grocery store employees?

A blue-haired old lady who has few remaining friends or family members might crave social interaction with a grocery store checkout employee. But the only thing I want to hear from the checkout person is: Paper of plastic? I want the line to move quickly, and that will only happen if the checkout employee doesn`t chat with the customers. I might discuss the state of the world or my own personal problems with a bartender, that`s what he`s there for, but chatty checkout grocery store employees are an abomination.

The ideal supermarket wouldn`t have any human employees, it would be staffed by robots who have been programmed to keep conversation to a bare minimum. A robot isn`t going to pick his nose before adjusting the fruit on a display stand, and he`s not going to fart when he bends down to pick up a can that fell off a shelf.

My local Kroger has self-checkout lanes, and I am in and out of the store in just a few minutes. The self-checkout machine reminds me not to forget my money when I ask for cash back, and that`s all the conversation I want to hear in a grocery store.

I urge consumers to boycott Albertsons until they re-install the self-checkout machines. You can`t turn back the tide of progress, Albertsons` action is misguided and idiotic, and we should let the grocery store chain know exactly how we feel.

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