Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:July 10th, 2011 10:29 EST

Drunk Dude Takes Van Full Of Drunks On A Wild Ride

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A local man is accused of giving a bus full of drunks a ride to remember after he had a few too many drinks himself Thursday night.

According to Lt. Dave Parker, spokesman for the Anchorage Police Department, 35-year-old Donny H. Weston got out of a taxi in front of the Inlet Inn at 539 H Street in downtown and climbed into the driver`s seat of a parked Community Service Patrol van, a service that transports the inebriated."


The Community Service Patrol van picks up drunks and transports them to a "sleeping center". I`m sure the inebriated bums are tucked into bed by attractive social workers, provided with fluffy pillows while New Age music is played to lure them into a deep relaxing sleep.

Alcoholics don`t need a "sleeping center", a rummy will have no problem sleeping anywhere from a gutter to a park bench. What a waste of government money, these losers should be picked up by a police van and thrown in jail.

This story proves my point that alkies have no problem sleeping anywhere. A boozehound stole the Community Service Patrol van, with a few drunks inside, and went on a wild ride before he finally crashed into a bus. Most of the tosspots inside the van slept through the bizarre incident, they didn`t even wake up when the van crashed into the bus.

I realize that Alaska in a hellish place where there`s nothing to do but get blasted, but maybe if alcoholics weren`t pampered so much there wouldn`t be so many of them in the frozen wasteland.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: