July 21st, 2011 13:19 EST
Is Michele Bachmann's Husband The Gayest Man In America? Yes!
"If you aren`t yet familiar with the growing whispers about Michele Bachmann`s campaign-the uncorroborated speculation that the candidate`s profoundly antigay hubby, Marcus, is a closeted gay man-you will be. The chatter has already made its way from the blogs and Twitter (Cher tweeted that Marcus has tripped her exquisitely tuned gaydar) to the alternative press to The Daily Show."
If a female presidential hopeful is married to a gay husband it shouldn`t be an issue for amusement or political analysis. But when both the female presidential aspirant and her spouse are vehemently anti-gay crusaders it`s a legitimate issue.
If gay icon Cher says Marcus (Hello! Gay name) is gay, you can bet your collection of Judy Garland CD`s that`s he`s a homo(s)exual.
Not that there`s anything wrong with being gay or lesbian, but there`s everything in the world wrong with being a closeted gay man who demonizes the gay and le(s)bian community.
I don`t mean to imply that all gay men are effeminate, not that there`s anything wrong with being an effeminate gay man. But Marcus Bachmann is so effeminate that he must have set off a million gaydars in his lifetime. I knew immediately that Marcus was gay the first time I saw him on TV, and that was before he said one word. Marcus has the gayest voice I`ve ever heard, he makes Pee Wee Herman sound like a wrestler on steroids.
Marcus has such a dainty manner about him, if he walked into a china shop I would expect him to twirl around and dust the china. Not that there`s anything wrong with a gay man with a penchant for dancing and dusting china in a china shop. I`m just trying to illustrate the gayness of Marcus Bachmann.
Take my word for it, Marcus is the gayest man in America.
Michele Bachmann, I bet this controversy is giving you a killer migraine headache.
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes