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Published:July 21st, 2011 09:22 EST

OMG! Angelina Jolie Eats Crickets!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"`My boys love to eat crickets. It`s their favorite thing,` the 36-year-old actress says in a video shoot for Louis Vuitton`s Core Values campaign, which was shot on location in Cambodia (the country where she adopted Maddox, now 9).


Jolie herself has even indulged in the Southeast Asian countries delicacies. `They`re good. They`re like a potato chip.`"


Angelina Jolie is the most beautiful woman in the world, my fantasy is that one day I will come hope from work and I will find her spread out on my bed with a come hither look. But now that I know that she has a penchant for eating crickets, my fantasy has turned into a nightmare. I can`t get the image out of my mind of my Angelina opening her mouth to blow me a kiss, and a cricket crawls out of her maw.

My infatuation with Jolie is over, Brad can have her, and her damn crickets.

It`s nothing short of child abuse for Jolie to let her sons eat crickets, it may be a cool thing to eat in Cambodia, but this ain`t Cambodia. When her sons` school buddies learn about their disgusting eating habits, her sons will become (rightfully so) objects of ridicule.

Thank goodness that Jolie finally banned her sons from eating crickets, because they were eating too many of them.

Why did I have to write this essay while I was eating breakfast?

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