July 29th, 2011 17:37 EST
Doomsday Discussions Again on the Rise: 2012 is Looming?
One would have thought that when the world did not perish on May 21, 2011 as some of the wack-a-doodle religious fringe predicted, the prognostications of a doomsday would cease to be but guess what? The devoted doomsday followers are just revving up for the big show, which will supposedly happen on December 21st, 2012. Why is this day the designated end of the world: Because the Mayans told us so.
Okay, this is the skinny on the Mayans: The Mayans did not come out and say this is the end of the world. Their calendar ends in December 2011- December 21st to be exact. And because they were the Mayans, we are supposed to put two and two together and come up "Doomsday". I have asked this question before, and I am going to ask this again: What if the Mayans just decided to stop making the calendar? What if the Mayans stood back and said, "Damn, we have done a calendar for the next thousand or so years, let`s call it a day (no pun intended). Chances are there will be someone with intelligence after us who can count the days and fill in the blanks."
What the Mayans didn`t understand is that the human population would grow to be so superstitious and riddled with God guilt that they would need to have something supernatural and all-knowing decide their fate. This is my second question on the super duper Mayans? If they were so technologically great and so good at predicting the future, how come they didn`t see their own demise? Whatever knocked them off the Most Advanced Civilization pedestal-be it war, natural catastrophe or disease-how come they didn`t see it coming? I guarantee if they could have predicted their dismal future, they probably would have worked hard to change their situation.
The end of the world is not a new story. Let`s take a look back at some of the favorite and most note-worthy apocalypses. First, if you are a Bible believer, you have Noah`s Ark- you know the story of the violent and vengeful God who got so ticked off at his children that he pulled a mass murder and drowned everyone except some old guy and his family and the animals-yes, it was nice he kept the animals. Well, I have to say that in this end-of-the-world moment, God doesn`t come off as a loving parent; in fact, if he tried to pull this drowning stunt today, his butt would be dragged into court so fast, he wouldn`t have time to make a raindrop fall. Did a flood happen? Yes, I think scientists have found evidence of a flood or Tsunami, but without that ark, the Noah story is still not considered a concrete fact.
Onto the Dinosaurs. Okay, we have more scientific facts here. This wasn`t really a world-ending event. It was more of a world-changing event. Supposedly, 65 million years ago, an asteroid slammed into the Earth with strength of a billion Hiroshimas obliterating everything in its path and transforming the Earth into a frozen Popsicle stand. I`m not sure how many centuries passed before the big thaw which allowed life to be again, but it was a while. When the Bible and science stuff start competing with each other in destruction stories, I get confused and lose track of time periods. So, my next logical question here is "When did Fred Flintstone live?"
What`s headed our way? Well, Nostradamus, the great seer of all seers (I know this because the History Channel told me so) says that 2012 is also the end of the world. Well, supposedly his quatrains say that. Well, his quatrains say a lot of stuff-after the fact. I`m not a big believer in hindsight prophecy. People get upset when they hear that the Mayans and Nostradamus spout the same story. Well, the Mayans were at their peak and maybe even waning about 900 AD. The Spanish conquistadors came to Yucatan Peninsula and had taken control by 1547. Nostradamus was born in 1503. Is there a chance that exploration to the new world brought back information of the Mayan culture and this information might have found its way to France and Nostradamus?
I still sense anxiety because many of you have heard that the Comet Elenin is supposed to buzz past the Earth on October 16, 2011 at a distance of 21 million miles possibly setting up our next doomsday. According to many scientists (real ones- not those who got their degrees from Supernatural U.), this pass by will cause-NOTHING! Comet experts say that the comet is one hundred billionth the mass of our moon which they say is equivalent to the mass of a bug hitting an oil supertanker which means it also won`t affect the gravitational pull on the planet.
So, what have we learned? Stop worrying about the apocalypse. When and if it happens, you probably won`t even know about it unless of course, aliens are behind it all, and they come down and start impregnating our women to make a super species. Well, by that time, my ovaries will be completely shot, so I`ll probably be vaporized. In truth, I wouldn`t mind aliens as they don`t look like big ants. I think they should all look like George Clooney. For the rest of you: Maybe Rosetta Stone will come out with an Alien language CD. Knowing their language might help in the long run. It might mean the difference between living in peace with them and being blasted into space.