Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:August 2nd, 2011 21:37 EST

Dunkin' Donuts Employee Sold Donuts And Herself At Work

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Police in New Jersey said they arrested a Dunkin` Donuts worker accused of offering her services as a prostitute to customers.

Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann said the investigation, dubbed `Extra Sugar` by police, was sparked by an `anonymous tip` about Melissa Redmond, 29, of Mine Hill."



I love Dunkin` Donuts, if it weren`t for the presence of so many cops it would be paradise. Police officers make me nervous, even in a coffee shop. I`m afraid they will take exception to the way I dunk my donuts, or that they will bust me for taking too many packets of sugar.

I commend Melissa for thinking outside the box, offering your services as a prostitute in a fast food joint is an excellent idea. But why did home girl choose Dunkin` Donuts when everybody knows it`s always crawling with cops?

Customers who preferred extra sugar with their donuts would hook up with Melissa in their cars in the parking lot.

Wife: You should stop going to Dunkin` Donuts every day, you`re gonna get fat.

Hubby: Don`t worry sugar, I get plenty of exercise.

Melissa should have conducted her extracurricular activities as a McDonald`s employee. Do you want fries with that, or would you prefer a delicious side of cherry pie?

Writing this exercise is making me hungry for ... cherry pie.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: