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Published:August 3rd, 2011 14:26 EST

OMG! 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Robs 7-11

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Authorities in Florida said they were trying to identify an armed man who robbed a 7-11 store while dressed as the cartoon character SpongeBob Squarepants."


I would hesitate to hand over cash to a robber dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants, even if he was brandishing a sawed-off shotgun. If word got around that I was robbed by a dude dressed as SpongeBob, it would destroy my reputation s a macho man.


The armed man would be well-advised to wear a mask that instills fear, say a Casey Anthony mask, the next time he robs a convenience store. Shots were fired, but nobody was hurt. If the foolish robber had been wearing a Casey Anthony or Rosie O`Donnell mask there would have been no need to intimidate the clerk by firing off a couple of rounds.

Any child who witnessed SpongeBob robbing the convenience store will need extensive counseling. The judge should throw the book at the robber for donning the mask of such an optimistic and loveable cartoon character.

Kids and potheads love SpongeBob, weed lovers are usually mellow, but if one of them gets a hold of this robber he will probably bash his head in with a bong.

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