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Published:August 7th, 2011 12:13 EST

Nightmare: Alaskan Village Covered In Orange Goo! Scientists Baffled!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A massive patch of bright orange material washed up on the Alaskan coast, and has scientists baffled.

The substance, which experts don`t believe is man-made, could possibly be algae, but a kind no one has seen before.


The gooey substance was first reported last week in the Alaskan village of Kivalina. The light-weight material later appeared in places further inland, including on some roofs, thanks to strong winds."


Nothing has terrified and bewildered the fine people of Alaska this much since the ascendancy of Sarah Palin into political prominence.

Scientists are baffled, they don`t know what the heck is going on. Maybe Rosie O`Donnell ate too much carrot soup, and she threw up in the ocean. Maybe Snooki was skinny-dipping and all her orange suntan washed off into the sea.

Most folks are speculating that it`s algae, but how in the name of everything that`s decent and holy did algae end up on roofs?

Sarah Palin should get to the bottom of this, she should drink a few glasses of the gooey stuff to find out if it`s poisonous. But Palin probably won`t drink the stuff, she thinks the water is orange because Paul Revere piddled into it.

Dear reader, what do you think? Send me your comments!

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