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Published:August 27th, 2011 13:12 EST

Great Idea: Virtual Boarding Agents!

By Robert Paul Reyes

If you`ve ever been frustrated by airport gate agents who ignore you, misunderstand you or generally make your life miserable before you even get on the plane, then don`t fly through Orly Airport in Paris.

The airport is currently testing out `virtual` boarding agents -- holograms that welcome passengers and provide flight information.

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Thank goodness for technology, virtual boarding agents is a great idea. It would prevent chatty passengers from slowing down the boarding process by engaging in small talk with human agents.

Boarding agents are useless anyway, all the information I need to know (departure time, destination) is up on a big board.

Why stop with virtual boarding agents, how about virtual flight attendants? They take forever to respond when you call for them, and their ingratiating manner is very annoying.

I`d pay a million dollars to fly on a plane where everyone was a virtual person, including the passengers. I`m tired of passengers clogging up the lines stuffing their luggage in the overhead compartments, and disturbing the peace by farting, talking and sneezing.

I don`t want to sound like a misanthrope, but sometimes I wish everyone in the world was a computer-generated illusion.

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