Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:September 18th, 2011 09:53 EST

'Gumby' Holds Up 7-Eleven: I Was Trying To Cheer People Up! Blockhead!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Gumby is a green clay humanoid figure, beloved by children from two to ninety two. I will never forget my childhood memory of my younger brother trying to use Gumby as an eraser, needless to say I went Medieval on his a**.

gumbyThe only things worse than using Gumby as an eraser is holding-up a convenience store dressed as Gumby.

My belief that people are rotten to the core was validated when I read an article about a dude who held up a convenience store dressed as the beloved clay animation figure.

My view that folks are beyond salvation was further validated when this jerk lied and said he wasn`t robbing the 7-Eleven store. He claims that he likes wearing the Gumby suit, because it cheers people up.

Jacob Kiss, 19, may have cheered up the 7-Eleven clerk if he hadn`t ordered her to, "Give me the money."

Jacob is a Blockhead of epic proportions, and he deserves no mercy from the criminal justice system.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: