September 22nd, 2011 14:16 EST
Outrage: Dastardly Fiend Steals Head Of Mascot Stomper The Bear!
"The Lake Erie Crushers, an Ohio Frontier League baseball team, said someone stole the head of their mascot, Stomper the bear, from a storage closet.
The team said the head of Stomper, the team`s mascot since 2009, was taken from a storage closet at the Crushers` Avon Lake facility, causing the mascot to miss the last two home games and the playoffs.
This dastardly crime must not go unpunished; I wouldn`t go so far as to say "off with the head of the thief", but the fiend needs to do some serious time behind bars.
Stomper is beloved by children and adults, he entertains the fans by dancing, signing autographs and carrying on like a bear on crack. Stomper is the star of the team, and without him attendance has taken a big hit.
Without his head Stomper the mascot is just a regular guy who is moonlighting from his real job flinging burgers. The Lake Erie Crushers must put up a reward for the safe return of Stomper`s head.
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