Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:October 9th, 2011 16:08 EST
palin

I'm 'Shocked, Shocked, Shocked' Sarah Palin Isn't Running For President

By Robert Paul Reyes

After three interminable years of her striptease act, Sarah Palin has finally announced what everybody except her deluded followers already knew: She`s not running for president.

I am disappointed because the former beauty provided fodder for countless articles, but thank God I still have Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry to kick around.

palin

But I am very worried about the reality star`s devotees, they must be as devastated as Harold Camping`s followers. They were convinced that the former half-term governor was merely waiting for the perfect time to announce her candidacy for President of the United States.

Palin`s crushed supporters are ripe for the picking; I figure most of them will join a UFO cult or the Church of Scientology.

Months ago I declared that if Palin joined the presidential fray that I would dress in drag like Mama Grizzly. Many Palin true believers heaped scorn on me, and demanded that I post my Palin pics online. The Palin sycophants should make amends by dressing in drag like Barack Obama or Joe Biden.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes