Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:November 7th, 2011 11:01 EST

Herman Cain, For God's Sake Quit!

By Robert Paul Reyes

When Herman Cain burst on the scene, he was like a pizza straight out of the oven. The former CEO of Godfather`s Pizza offered the electorate a deal that you couldn`t refuse: A 9-9-9 tax plan that did away with a tax code that only accountants and lawyers can understand.


Cain was an unconventional presidential candidate who spoke bluntly, he disdained nuance in favor of bold declarative statements.

But then Cain`s 9-9-9 plan was exposed by economists as a simplistic mess that would raise taxes on the poor and the middle cla(s)s.

It has finally started to dawn on the dense Republican electorate that Cain is a clone of Chance from "Being There." Cain is no longer perceived as a magician who can pull a rabbit out of a hat every time, he`s been revealed as a dunce who can`t pull out answers to simple questions out of his rear end.

It turns out that Cain isn`t as much of an unconventional politician as we thought, he has reacted to his  scandal like a typical politician: Lying, and blaming the media for his mistakes.

In the face of accusations of s(e)xual misconduct from multiple victims, Cain`s favorability ratings are starting to fade. Cain`s fifteen minutes of fame are over, and he should do the honorable thing and quit the presidential race.

Cain is like that last slice of leftover pizza in the fridge, it`s been picked up and put back in the fridge by every member of the family. Finally it`s tossed to dog, who takes a sniff of it, and ends up urinating on it.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: