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Published:November 25th, 2011 10:27 EST

Creepy Criminal Steals Cute Bunny From Church Daycare Center

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Police in Wisconsin said they arrested a 20-year-old student accused of stealing a rabbit from a daycare facility inside a church."


Theodore Benner of Chalfont, Pa. is the most despicable criminal in the annals of crime. This dastardly dunce broke into a church and stole a bunny named Twinkle from the daycare center.


How will the Sunday School Teacher explain Twinkle`s absence to the little tots:

Teacher: I`m sorry children but a bad man stole Twinkle.

Tot: Boo ho ho! You told me Jesus would always watch over Twinkle! That`s it, I`m going to grow up to be a mean fat Republican who wants to do away with child labor laws.

Benner kept the bunny in a cage in his dorm room for his amusement, not caring that he deprived dozens of little kids of their furry friend.

If there is a hell Benner will be locked away for all eternity in a cage with a giant demon rabbit who has a fetish of pulling eyelashes and pulling teeth.

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