Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:December 2nd, 2011 10:16 EST
The Next Great Invention: Panty Hose Fondue

The Next Great Invention: Panty Hose Fondue

By Donna Cavanagh

Invention ideas come and go.  Most invention concepts go nowhere while some take off and become that million dollar idea. On more than one occasion, my engineer husband has said, "I should invent..."  He proceeded to tell me his idea and then did nothing about it. The most famous invention gaffe was his idea for Aqua Socks. Remember those?  Years before they came out, he looked at me on the beach and proclaimed, "I`m going to make waterproof shoes to wear in the ocean so I don`t get bit by crabs."

Did he make them? NO.  But someone did and that person made millions. Now, I refuse to buy those socks. Let the crabs feast on my toes. I don`t care; it`s a matter of principle.

Anyway, I have an invention idea. I know it might sound a little far-fetched but I think it has merit.  I got this idea because I had to dress up over the weekend and put on dark panty hose which were equipped with a control top.  The panty hose experience would not have been so bad except that I had to sit in those corset-like undergarments for a two-an-a-half hour car ride smashed between my parents who had to share the backseat with me.  So, as I sat there, doing my best imitation of a sardine in a can, I realized that my panty hose were becoming more constrictive and I was having trouble breathing. Was I really? No. It was all psychological, but the faux lack of oxygen to my brain sent my imagination wandering and when it finally returned, it had in its grasp this idea:  Panty Hose Fondue.

I hear you asking "What the hell is that?" Well, Panty Hose Fondue is sort of like real fondue.  You select a color that you need your legs to be and mix up the color packet in a bath tub. Then you sit in the bathtub for a few minutes until the fondue adheres to your legs and turns them the desired color.  The fondue will harden quickly and give a silky appearance, and you will have matching stockings for your outfit without the constrictive material associated with panty hose. Another plus: There is no danger of getting a run in your stockings.

Your legs look good " actually good enough to eat, and guess what? They truly are. The fondue would be edible so it`s after that formal event or night out, you can have a really romantic night. This sort of takes edible panties to a whole new level. The fondue would come in a variety of flavors which would reflect the different color shades. There could be vanilla and French cream vanilla, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, black licorice--well, you get the idea. The fondue would have a lifespan on one`s legs of about eight hours.  I think that would allow enough time for a fun evening and hanky panky activity afterwards.

I would make sure that the Panty Hose Fondue would be cost efficient. A big box of fondue mix would be about $25 and that would last at least two full dips. If you have to wear slacks, you can just do a partial dip up to your knees.  Also, I would make a sugar-free Fondue for those watching their waistlines or those who are diabetic.  While it`s true I haven`t worked out all the details yet, such as if the fondue would permanently stain one`s skin or one`s bathtub, or if one can wear it without attracting bees and ants,  I do believe this product has the potential to take off.  If there are any companies out there who wish to discuss my idea and help it become the next million dollar product, you can reach me via email. I welcome your expert advice.