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Published:December 26th, 2011 17:01 EST

An Intruder In His Undies, A Homeowner With A Shotgun, And A Tiki Torch

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Authorities in Oregon said a man was apparently under the influence of drugs when he broke into a home and attacked residents with a Tiki torch.

tikiPolice said Matthew Zamora, 28, of Sherwood, is believed to have been under the influence of drugs late Christmas Day when he allegedly grabbed an unlit Tiki torch from the back yard of the Aloha home and forced his way into the house." UPI

Zamora was wearing only his underwear, socks and a bandana around his neck, when the sleeping homeowners woke up to see him swinging the Tiki torch at them. I probably won`t die peacefully in my sleep, but I hope that I won`t be dispatched to the hereafter by a crazy dude setting me on fire with a Tiki torch.

Zamora and his Tiki torch were no match for the woman of the house who grabbed her shotgun and ordered him to leave. This is a classic case of "don`t bring a Tiki torch to a gun fight."

I would have been so offended at the spectacle of an intruder in his underwear threatening me with a Tiki torch, that I would have blown him away to Kingdom Come.

The crazy dude was arrested by police as he was climbing out the bathroom window. The homeowners would be well-advised to ditch their Tiki torches.


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