Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:February 11th, 2012 11:32 EST

One- Legged Dude Hid Cocaine In His Behind, Couldn't Outrun Cops

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Authorities in Florida said they found cocaine in the buttocks of a one-legged suspect seen hopping away from a car.

Jacksonville sheriff`s deputies said they responded to a call about suspected drug activity inside a GMC sport-utility vehicle parked near an apartment in Jacksonville and a man missing his right leg started hopping away from the vehicle when deputies pulled up behind the SUV, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Friday."



Ariosto Kuryakin Wyman was born with only one leg, but he didn`t let his disability prevent him from achieving his dreams, criminal as they may be.

This is a Horatio Alger tale of a man who pulled himself up by his lone bootstrap, and set out to conquer the world of drug dealing.

To be a successful criminal you need two good legs to outrun the cops, but that didn`t stop Wyman from undertaking a career in selling controlled substances.

Wyman is intelligent and resourceful, he hid his cocaine in the crack of his behind, knowing full well that cops will think twice before searching a big fat ugly man`s nether regions.

OK, enough sarcasm, Wyman is a moron and he`s back in prison where he belongs.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org