Contact theSOPAbout theSOPSupport theSOPWritersEditorsManaging Editors
theSOP logo
Published:February 24th, 2012 10:01 EST

Stop The Insanity: Dude Tries To Rob A Gas Station With Finger

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Police in Florida said an attempted robbery was foiled when a gas station clerk recognized the object poking out from the suspect`s shirt was a finger.

The Jacksonville Sheriff`s Office said a man with a plastic bag over his head walked into the Gate gas station on 103rd Street around 3 a.m. Monday morning and acted like the finger poking inside of his shirt was a weapon, The man ordered the clerk to "open the register and give me all the money," the sheriff`s office report said."


The clerk refused to turn over the cash, and a customer laughed at the would-be robber. At that point the ill-prepared bad dude was left with no option, but to walk away. Needless to say the moron didn`t have a getaway vehicle.

The crook probably figured that the clerk would be too sleepy at that ungodly hour and that he would mistake his finger for a machine gun.

Tips for the robber:

Dude, next time don a hockey mask, instead of putting a plastic bag over your head. A hockey mask elicits fear, a plastic bag ridicule.

Next time grab a weapon, even a butter knife, works better than a finger every time.

Dude, you need a getaway vehicle, it`s in the book "How to Rob a Gas Station for Dummies."

Better yet give up robbing gas stations, and start flipping burgers.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: