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Published:February 28th, 2012 17:22 EST

God Bless America! Sub Shop Sells 1,470 Calorie Sandwich

By Robert Paul Reyes

"A Wisconsin sandwich chain said its new Big Daddy sandwich includes salami, bologna, pepperoni, two types of ham and three types of cheese.

Cousins Subs of Menomonee Falls said the sandwich has 1,470 calories, the equivalent of three McDonald`s Quarter Pounders with Cheese or more than six Johnsonville Stadium Brats."


Every red-blooded patriotic American in Wisconsin should strike a blow for liberty by patronizing "Cousins Subs." I`ve had it with the food police trying to take all the fun out of eating. Michelle Obama and her commie friends can dine on watercress sandwiches and prune juice, but give me a monster burger or a Big Daddy sandwich.

The world may freakin` end December 21, 2012 according to the Maya calendar, will you die without having gorged on a Big Daddy sandwich?

I am renowned for making a killer Dagwood sandwich that even Oprah Winfrey couldn`t eat in one sitting, but this Big Daddy really takes the cake.

A registered dietitian claims it would take five hours to walk off the calories from eating a Big Daddy. Who the hell is going to walk after eating the colossal sandwich? If I ate the Big Daddy I would be to full to walk, and I would spend the rest of the day watching TV and munching on popcorn.

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