April 11th, 2012 11:34 EST
Anxiety of Making New Friends
Some people get very anxious when they try to make new friends. Meeting new people for the first time and trying to develop new friendships can be very stressful if you are shy or not outgoing. Here are some suggestions on how you can make new friends without getting anxious and fearful.
The most important thing is to be yourself. Do not pretend to be someone you are not because it will eventually catch up to you. Even if you are not the most popular person, being yourself will go a long way. You want your potential friends to be your friend for who you are and not for what you have or do not have.
Find people of similar interests to help increase your chances of making friends. Go join the local golf club if you like to golf or go to the gym if you like to exercise. Meeting people with similar interests will make it easier to make friends because you will both have something in common. It will also make it easy to start a conversation with someone.
To help reduce your fear or anxiety of making new friends, use good judgement in who you associate with. Try to use commonsense in who your companions are. If you are a person who is looking for someone who is involved in the church, you will most likely not find that person if you go to the bars.
In order to have a friend, you got to be a friend. Be outgoing and considerate when you are around people. Do not rush or force a friendship. Just be friendly to everyone and eventually you will find someone who will want to be your friend.
Consider the other persons` needs. Try to show some interest in the people you meet. Talk to them in terms of their needs and wants. Do not just talk about yourself.
Making friends can be stressful if you are shy or not outgoing. Just be yourself and go out and do something you like to do. Eventually you will find someone who has similar interests. If you still have trouble then talk to a professional who can give you more tips.
Stan Popovich is the author of A Layman`s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/