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Published:April 30th, 2012 12:30 EST
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Survey: Moms Prefer Homemade Card Over Diamonds For Mother's Day! Yeah, Right!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Seventy-five percent of U.S. mothers say they would prefer a handmade card over a necklace from Tiffany & Co., a survey indicates.

Plum District, which provides locally relevant offers targeted for mothers, surveyed its 1 million members to find out what they want for Mother`s Day."

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UPI

If seventy-five percent of men were stupid enough to believe the results of this survey and they gave their wife a handmade card instead of a diamond ring or expensive cologne, the divorce rate would climb by seventy-five percent.

Dude don`t be an idiot, for Mother`s Day give your wife a handmade card and a diamond necklace. If you give her just a card and no expensive trinket, you will be sleeping on the living room sofa for a few weeks.

When you give your spouse a handmade card attached to a gift from Tiffany and Co. she will whisper "Oh, Honey you are so sweet" when she reads your card, but she will shout "Oh Christ, I am going to screw the hell out of you tonight" when she opens the box and sees the diamond earrings.

Word to the wise...

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes