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Published:June 8th, 2012 11:40 EST
zombie

Zombie Bullets Selling Like Hotcakes! Are You Ready For Zombie Apocalypse?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Talk about zombies and a possible zombie apocalypse has increased due to recent gory accounts of drug-induced, flesh-eating attacks in the news.

Stores across the U.S., including in Metro Detroit, are getting in on the undead action by selling Zombie Bullets, made by Hornady Manufacturing."

zombie

CBS

Our little blue planet is in economic, political and religious turmoil, a zombie apocalypse seems like a more likely future than a harmonic convergence of peace, love and butterflies.

Prudent parents will provide for the welfare of their children by buying life insurance, setting up a college fund, and stocking up on Zombie Bullets.

I suspect that my next door neighbor might be a zombie, she watches reality shows all night long, and she doesn`t even see me when I`m walking my dog, because she`s too busy texting on her iPhone. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, I suspect she will be the first one shot between the eyes with a gun loaded with zombie bullets.

I`m looking forward to the zombie apocalypse, let`s face it, it`s a lot of fun killing zombies. When I`m watching a zombie movie, I always get a vicarious thrill when a zombie is axed, knifed, bludgeoned, or shot to death.

Zombies are dim-witting lumbering creatures, and they are just begging to be killed. I suspect that during the zombie apocalypse even blue-haired grannies will enjoy mowing down zombies.

Is it really so hard to imagine a zombie army led by the likes of Snooki, Jwoww, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, The Rev. Pat Robertson, The Pillsbury Dough Boy, Joan Rivers, Whitney Houston, Richard Simmons, Big Ang, Tiny Tim, Anna Nicole Smith, Rick Santorum, Snoop Dogg, Mike Tyson, Nicki Minaj, Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Newt Gingrich, Benny Hinn, Robert Paul Reyes, Elvis Presley, Dog the Bounty Hunter, Pat Boone, LeBron James, Marv Albert, Flo (The Progressive Insurance lady), Bruce Jenner, Suzi Orman, Tony Robbins, Michael Jackson, Rick Perry, Jerry Falwell, John Travolta, Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse, J Edgar Hoover, Perez Hilton, Tiger Woods, Michele Bachmann, Kanye West, Dan Rather, The Phillips Lady, Pamela Anderson, Herman Cain, Octomom, Casey Anthony, Paris Hilton, Jane Fonda, Jon Huntsman, Rosie O`Donnell, Andy Warhol, Pee Wee Herman, the Housewives of Orange County, T-Paw, Regis Philbin, Lindsay Lohan, Mitt Romney, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog -- lusting for publicity and human brains?

The undead are already taking over and, it`s only a matter of time before they will make their contempt for us clear by gorging on our brains. The foolish will have only a butter knife to protect themselves from the zombie apocalypse, the wise and patriotic will be loaded for bear.

A company spokesperson said that while the bullets are real, they`re only meant to be used on targets, and not on people or zombies.

Read More:

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2012/06/07/zombie-bullets-in-high-demand-following-flesh-eating-attacks/

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes