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Published:July 16th, 2012 15:52 EST

New Carriers Won't Have Urinals! Commie Plot To Destroy Sailors' Fighting Spirit?

By Robert Paul Reyes

"The U.S. Navy`s new class of carriers will be the first to go without urinals, a decision made in part to give the service flexibility in accommodating female sailors, the Navy says.


The change heralded by the Gerald R. Ford class of carriers - starting with the namesake carrier due in late 2015 - is one of a number of new features meant to improve sailors` quality of life and reduce maintenance costs, Capt. Chris Meyer said Wednesday."


The Navy`s decision to do away with urinals on carriers may give the service more flexibility in accommodating female sailors, but at the price of emasculating males.

A urinal allows a man to take care of business, the way God intended, standing up. Even a fellow with a tiny member feels like a playa when he`s relieving himself standing up. A urinal is a symbol of maschismo, it`s simply unthinkable to do away with them.

The Navy might as well install a cup by every toilet so a man can leave behind his gonads. Every tough guy worth his salt will now eschew the Navy, and join the Marines, the Air Force, or the Army.

The Navy claims that urinal drain pipes clog more than toilets and are stinkier and more expensive to maintain. A real man doesn`t expect the can to smell like a bouquet of roses, he`s not going to stay in the John for twenty minutes like the average female. For some reason guys just don`t have good aim when urinating in a toilet, my guess is that toilets ain`t gonna smell any better than urinals.

The Navy`s decision to can urinals must be a communist plan to weaken the fighting spirit of the male sailor.

I hope the male sailors will fight communism, by urinating, standing up like warriors, out the side of the gender-neutral carriers.

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

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