July 23rd, 2012 13:31 EST
Perfect Running Mate For Mitt Romney: Octomom
By all accounts Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is poised to pick a running mate, the most important decision he will make as a candidate. Romney may be only a couple of weeks from announcing his VP.
Who will it be?
The most frequently mentioned prospects are all boring white guys: Senator Tom Pawlenty, Congressman Paul Ryan, Senator Rob Portman and Thune somebody or other.
When you are running against the first African American president you need a running mate who will create buzz, not induce sleep.
Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom, would be the perfect running mate for Mitt Romney.
Octomom won`t put anyone to sleep, whether it`s starring in an adult movie, or shaking her moneymaker in a strip club, she holds our attention.
Octomom would appeal to the Family Values crowd, she had six children but that wasn`t enough for her, so she spit out eight more in one shot. Truly this is a woman who loves kids; if she gets married it would make for a picture perfect family that would appeal to conservatives.
The only way that Romney can close the gender gap is by picking a female as his VEEP, nobody who has seen Octomom strutting her stuff at a strip club would doubt that she`s a female.
Romney has little appeal to minorities; Octomom would take care of that problem as well. Nobody knows Octomom`s ethnicity, some of my friends thinks she`s an Arab, others swear she`s Hispanic. When Romney is giving his stump speech in Dearborn, Michigan he can introduce her as a Muslim, and when he`s campaigning in East LA, he can refer to her as his Latina homegirl. If Romney ever gathers the courage to visit San Francisco, he can introduce Octomom as his running mate from Uranus.
Octomom is conservative to the core, she was so ashamed of receiving public assistance, that she swallowed her pride and made an adult movie and became a stripper to make ends meet. Her Horatio Alger success story will appeal to Tea Party types who despise welfare.
Let`s get real: If voters can accept the fact that Romney wears magic Mormon underwear, they will accept a vice president who has a penchant for taking off her drawers in public.
If any Republican has any doubts about Octomom, she will win them over if Romney lets her strip at the Republican convention.
Octomom for VP!
Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes