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Published:July 29th, 2012 10:26 EST

Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Call Me Maybe' The Most Subversive Song Of All Time!

By Robert Paul Reyes

Carly Rae Jepsen`s "Call Me Maybe" has now been No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100 for seven weeks, breaking Lady Gaga`s record for most weeks as No. 1 by a female solo artist.

"Call Me Maybe" is the song of the summer of 2012, you can`t escape it, and it`s as omnipresent as the hot sun.


Who is this Carly Rae Jepsen who is breaking Billboard records? Certainly she must be a self-promoting skank to overthrow Lady Gaga?

Carly is a 26-year-old Canadian who is the all American girl next door, with her bangs and her big smile she oozes sincerity and goodness.

Carly covered John Denver`s "Sunshine on my Shoulders", she looks like she could be cheerful John`s freakin` daughter.

The song of the summer should be a thumping rap song that glorifies materialism and misogyny or an auto-tuned dance ditty that speaks of the brilliance of the producer and the emptiness of the singer.

Why in the name of God or Satan is a song with such innocent lyrics such a colossal hit?

"Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here`s my number, So call me, maybe?" If this were a rap or rock song, the lyrics would be:

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here`s the key to my house, come do me, maybe?

Carly Rae Jepsen`s "Call Me Maybe" has me discombobulated; this is not the type of song I expect to hear on the radio on the eve of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Carly, sorry girlfriend, but I ain`t about to call you. I can`t deal with such sweetness, cheerfulness, and innocence.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.Org

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