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Published:September 2nd, 2012 10:52 EST

Honey Boo Boo Child For President Of The United States!

By Robert Paul Reyes

"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" topped the Republican National Convention in the ratings.

Here comes Honey Boo Boo Child indeed, her goal is nothing short of world domination. The age requirement for President of the United States should be dropped from 35 to 6 to allow the precocious chubby little girl to run for the exalted office.


If the organizers of the Democratic National Convention announced that Honey Boo Boo Child will be the keynote speaker, their ratings would go through the roof. Imagine Honey Boo Boo having a conversation with a toilet seat representing Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney:

Honey Boo Boo Child: Girl power rules, and you are full of poop.

Honey Boo Boo wouldn`t take any mess from crazed dictators:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: We will unleash holy fire against the Zionist entity, and the Great Satan will be impotent to do anything about it.

Honey Boo Boo: Oh, no you won`t. You`d better redneckonize the power of the USA! After I take a gulp of my Go-Go Juice I will give you the Mother of All Beatdowns.

Honey Boo Boo would restore fiscal sanity.

Honey Boo Boo to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke: I holla for da dolla, but that don`t mean you should print billions of dollars, fool!

Boo Boo wouldn`t put up with a dofus like Joe Biden for one New York minute; she would demote Joe Biden to be Bo`s groomer before you could say: Honey Boo Boo Child rules!

Notice I`ve made little attempt to explain the phenomenon that is Honey Boo Boo Child, if you don`t know who she is, as a pop culture critic you are anathema to me.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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